Monday, April 30, 2007

What's wrong with me

What’s wrong with me.. I want to know what is it that I do.. that I don’t do.. what I say.. what I don’t say. I don’t how can I help myself or if I just let it be. Is this just a phase in our life, a point wherein we have all this endless questions that maybe doesn’t even need an answer. Confused? Maybe I am… in so many ways.

Im already 27, yet I still don’t know what to do with my life… sometimes I do feel like im lost.. that I should not be here but I don’t know where I should be. Everyone looks for that place, a place where they belong, where they perfectly fit. Maybe Im not literally speaking of a place… it could be a thing, an event or a someone who would create a big impact in my life. I want to be contented but I don’t know how.. Im trying to and I want to help myself. I just want to be happy. Happiness is such a broad word.. is it something to look for or something we have to wait for to happen?

Let me share some things about myself for you to understand where im getting this from and why im asking myself the question “what’s wrong with me” .

Im just a simple girl who wants a simple life, im blessed with a loving family and I have all sorts of friends that I’ve met along this journey of my life. Im a very friendly person, easy to get along with, would laugh at corny jokes (hehe!), would cry and standby a friend even when no one else would. I’ve got a real nice good paying job at one of the top banks here. Most people think im pretty or so I thought (do I need someone to testify for me? Hahaha).

Now what the… is my problem. Issues? Do I have issues? Yes I think I do.

1) At work, I don’t know why I feel not contented thou my job is not hard at all. I’ve also found some nice friends in the office and you know in every office there are also those not so nice..hehe! but I don’t mind them at all. I understand that all of us has our own personality and I respect them if they are like that… they are just being themselves. What’s wrong with me…I feel like I shouldn’t be there, like I should change my career but I don’t know what career to pursue. Last 2 years ago, I worked out of the country, wanting to try new things, meet new people, and experience new things. Well, I sure did but still I haven’t found that contentment I’ve been looking for. And so I went back here again. Haaay! Contentment? What does it really mean?

To be continued....